3 Newbie Mistakes I Nixxed

When you begin writing novels, you're pretty clueless about a lot of things. I knew about head hopping, passive voice and showing, but I needed to know more in order to write well. My first novel is stashed in a purple folder somewhere, destined to stay there unless I feel an itch to give it a major rewrite.

Here are the top three mistakes I made:

1. Flimsy Story Question. When I wrote my first novel, I didn't know there was this thing called a story question. A story question is the main concern the protagonist adopts at the beginning of a novel. Sometimes it's birthed in a call to action, a shocker, a stated goal, a fresh start or a conflict.

Can a meek hobbit like Frodo actually destroy the ring? Will this jaded woman find true love? Can this rookie cop find the Beatles serial killer who arranges his death scenes to match Fab Four songs?

You can tell a story without one, but you have to work extra hard to hook readers.

I recently read Green by Jay Lake and there's no story question to speak of, nor arc. The main character is sold into slavery as a toddler and trained to be a courtesan but you have no clue where the story is going. It's not a bad book at all. It's lushly written, the MC is feisty and strong, the voice, distinct, description, light-handed, but it's not very hooky. I'd put it down and not pick it up again for weeks.

That's okay for some writers, but that's not what I want in my books. I want to have works that readers hate to put down and feel a bit sad over when they reach the end.

In order for your story to have that kind of hooking power, you should have a story question. Even literary fiction can have a story question. An MC, for instance, who wants to uncover her family's buried secret, may do a lot of reflecting on every detail she finds. The questions would then be will she discover the whole truth and how will she deal with it if and when she does. The longer you keep the questions unanswered, the more gripping your story will be. You can create tension and suspense with the simplest thing. If the main character cares deeply, the reader will care as well.

The mistake I made with my first book was I answered the story question before the climax and the story's tension dissolved. Use any kind of plot pathway you want, three acts, a circle, a rollercoaster, doesn't matter, your biggest structural concern should be that question and keeping it taut until the climax or later, if possible. Then, you'll be able to create a gripping read.

2. Be-verb Overload. I honestly never gave Be-verbs much thought at all until one of my reviewers pointed them out. Every...single...one. Be-verbs work just as good as any in getting your point across, however, they're blah and reflect laziness. Stretch yourself for juicer verbs. They'll breathe more life into your prose. Those other little buggers that fly under the radar die on the page and may also indicate you've used too much passive voice.

I try to only use no more than 15%. You should only really use them if it's the true voice of the narrator or if not using one would be too awkward.

3. Purple Prose. When I first started writing novels, I often would go the round-about way of saying everything. I notice this mistake a lot with many new writers, that's why I'm bringing this up. I thought that was my voice: lush, lyrical, descriptive, eloquent. It sounded good to me, pretty, intriguing, writerly. I didn't go all historical Harlequin exactly, but still, my work was chock full of superfluous fluff that wasn't needed.

Purple prose and flowery rills are okay in small doses, but if your story is packed with such chunks, it'll be more difficult for readers to get through and become engaged. You need to know that. It becomes more about the words than character or plot or story.

If you're going for arty-fartsy, knock yourself out. But if you're trying your hardest to write right, to sell your book to the masses, stop going all over the place and get to the point. Your readers will appreciate it and your writing will be tighter and overall better.

So, those are my top three book killers. What tips have you learned that have improved your writing once you implemented them?

~ Signing off and sending out cyber hugs.

BE Verbs Be Gone

When I'm penning a first draft, I often don't care about verbs. Since I just wanna get my ideas down, BE verbs tend to fall into the mix. But for me, they stand as mere placeholders.

BE verbs certainly seem innocent enough. Am, is, are, was, were, been, being and be are efficient, unobtrusive, neat and tiny. They don't create snags. No one has to look them up in a dictionary. They are standards in the English language, but those little buggers possess dangerous power.

They proclaim laziness, an abundance of weak and/or passive sentences, as well as amateur status. But mostly, they lack sparkle and smother your narrative voice. I know many published writers use BE verbs, and often, but if they'd stretch a little, then narration, exposition and First Person drones with lackluster personalities would come alive in new and unexpected ways. Because I am so conscious of them, I find them very distracting in published novels, especially was and were, especially when used 90% of the time. You shouldn't cave to that bad habit just because others get away with it. Choose to take pride in your craft and make your sentences shine.

It's amazing what a bit of tweaking can do for your voice. You want your work to possess freshness and zing, not banality. So when you're at the editing stage, work on nixing as many BE verbs as you can. I don't trim them all out. I usually let about 20% remain, where they work/flow/fit well. Works without any can feel too heavy and clunky, but go for the much prettier cousins when you can. Use BE verbs where it would cause a trip-up if you didn't, kind of like when you twist your sentences all around to avoid ending with a preposition and end up transporting your readers back to the 1800's with your very perfect grammar. If it sounds more natural and easier to read with a BE verb—or a sentence-ending preposition—then choose readability over greatness. You want your story to be told in the clearest, best possible way.

Here are some examples of sentences from which I extracted wases:

He was curious to know what they’d do if real guns aligned with their chests, heads and dicks.

He smoldered with curiosity to know what they’d do if real guns aligned with their chests, heads and dicks. ("smoldered with curiosity" reflects the POV character's darker state of mind. "was" dies on the page)

* * *

Getting to gloat to the Wasps’ athletic director about today’s victory was a definite managerial perk.

Getting to gloat to the Wasps’ athletic director about today’s victory thrilled as a definite managerial perk. ("thrilled" brings in some emotion and characterization)

* * *

Small American flags and seasonal banners, suspended for the St. Patty’s Day Parade, were on utility poles.

Small American flags and seasonal banners, suspended for the St. Patty’s Day Parade, still garnished utility poles. ("still garnished" sets up my next sentence which explains how long those embellishments stay up.)

* * *

Not all words were clear, but what she did gather sent tremors down her spine.

Not all words came out clear, but what she did gather sent tremors down her spine. (not too much different, but "came out" reflects reception and stimulus now.)

* * *

Do you see how using stronger, punchier verbs, infuses the prose with some pizazz and life? The content is the same, but they sound better, read better and make the sentences overall more interesting.

Sometimes Be verbs ARE the perfect verbs for a sentence. Weigh each one you come across. If stretching gives you nothing better, let it stand. Here are some wases I kept because they held strength as they were and conveyed exactly what I wanted:

The seventeen-year-old shuddered at the skeletal hand, pointing. Someone was going to die, but who would even believe her?

* * *

It was the touching, her slender hand slipping willingly into his large mitt, caressing it with waving fingers, that caught Crystal's eye and triggered an eruption of sneezes.

* * *

In the same vein, 90% of the time, the combos of There was/were, That was/were are unneeded. Just write in what's there. (There was a biting chill in the air that I could feel in my bones. v. The biting chill in the air slithered into my bones. Go for straightforward, active sentences, which are always more engaging.) You can use such a combo for effect on occasion, if you want to create a sense of eeriness for instance, but keeping a sentence passive when it could be active is just poor writing.)
Regarding BE verbs, with a little mental acrobatics, you can often come up with a much stronger way to say the same thing. Stretch yourself. Making the extra effort will enhance your prose enormously. Go ahead and use BE verbs as placeholders, but consider many of them to BE on the chopping block, and when the time comes, hack them off without mercy.

~ Signing off and sending out cyber hugs.