Will I Spring Forward in Fall?

Hmm. Well, there's not much going on in the agent hunt, so I can only hope for some good news this autumn. One agent does have a partial of Kings & Queens, so I could be much closer to getting a thumb's up. Who knows. But, I think maybe my query is just not getting it done. Or it could be my concept, I dunno.

I've submitted so many different versions to little response, my head is spinning now, and I can't even tell good from bad now.

It's hard to know what to include and what not to. My book has weirdness and conspiracy, but trying to succinctly mention those aspects is difficult and stirs up a whirlwind of questions. It makes me sound like a crackhead and that the book is a result of me being a crackhead. Yet when I boil it down to the central conflict, as query-writing-lovers love to suggest, a teen jumping into a massacre plot doesn't sound so special.

My novel centers around this massacre, but the tone and other aspects keep the story from being too heavy and depressing. It has bits of humor and tenderness and shock, and it also features baseball, romance, conspiracy, high school tension, family drama and a dash of sci-fi.

Do you think massacres are far too ugly for YA? I'd think not. I mean, the Hunger Games is popular, which I'm about to order, and that's about teens who kill. And Jodi Picoult's Nineteen Minutes centers around a teen shooting, and although it's shelved in adult, it crosses over into the teen market. But my YA novel, Kings & Queens, is not so much a topical one like Picoult's or a futuristic drama like HG. Mine's a whodunit with flair and depth. Beyond holding a core mystery, it delves into the psyches of those who've been manipulated and victimized and set-up.

But, man oh man, why didn't I think to include faerie wings or some sort of shape-shifting? How can I make a massacre sound more appealing? I do have some brainwashing going on and evil people can see through one teen's eye, so you'd think that'd be oo-factor enough. Nope. Not quite.

Maybe I should've made those evil people warlocks. Oh wait. Some of them ARE warlocks technically, but I forgot about that since it's not the commonality bringing the bloodthirsty blokes together. But I do have warlocks. And supersoaker wars with goat's blood. And some steamy kisses. And a ragdoll with a key that unlocks a box of new mysteries.

Um, did I mention my story was complex?

Maybe this sounds like a hot mess on the glowing paper you're now reading, like it's all too much content for one story, but it's not. Everything is intricately woven and fits together like a choreographed number with different types of performances.

Everything in this fictional world is affected when these characters are pushed to their limits, when they're forced to confront the malevolence not only in their world but also within themselves. And I like to show that struggle and revelation. I believe readers get more out of the story that way, when you give them both an intricate plot and deep, well-rounded characters.

I got two compliments recently that showed me the impact of my writing.

The first said, that even though it had been a while since she'd read Kings & Queens, the story has stayed with her all this time, and she thinks of my characters fondly. And the other reader said she didn't think it would be her kind of book, but it quickly sucked her in and she 's been having such a hard time putting it down. She absolutely loves it.

When you can provide an unforgettable journey with a pen and impact a few readers, it makes all the rejection worthwhile.

But, publication is the one industry where your dedication and skill do not really matter. It's more about hitting the right chord at the right time with the kind of story you wrote. It's about the perceived marketability of that book. Even if an agent and editor love it to pieces, the table full of suitcoats can still squash your dream.

I may have to enter the market with a different book first, one that's more strategic. Dropping Like Flies has a more gripping premise. And if I have to set K&Q aside for a time or come up with a new plan, like going with a smaller publisher myself, I'm cool with that. But Kings & Queens is too great a novel and too cool a reader experience to scrap. It would be a sad, sad thing to ever stick that in a drawer. So I won't.

~Signing off and sending out cyber hugs.

Don't Be Shark Bait in the Treacherous Ocean

I have a couple of phobias. One of the things most likely to make me faint is knives. I'm terrified of them, well big ones, sharp and horrifying. Like the Chef's knife, that diabolical slicer made most famous in Psycho. I'm not quite sure why I jump back and shudder at the presence of a knife or why I can't use or wash one in the sink, but that fear is just there. I could never keep the block of them on top of my fridge cuz on the freakish chance you bump into it while getting HalfBaked, the block could tip over and the alliance of daggers would then butcher you to death, or at the very least cut off your eyebrows or do some serious damage to your girls or piggies.

My fear is so intense I can't even watch someone dice carrots or a knife infomercial. Honestly. That Rock-n-Chop is not of God, right out of hacker-slasher hell, and my best friend had the nerve to send some sales guy over to my house for a demonstration. [I don't care that he was earning money for college or whatever. That's Sick!!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? WHY? How would you like it if I sent a moose over to your house? You wouldn't. That's right. Sick freak.]
And if you've ever seen Predator, you know how violent it is, but the only part I can't watch is where a guy is shaving with a straight blade. Uggghh. I CANNOT watch a guy get shaved that way at the barber or even think of seeing Sweeney Todd live. Panic attack for sure.

I'm also afraid of bees, even so much as to run several feet away from my children to avoid them. I shriek and wiggle and pull over my car if one of those mean creatures invades my space. If I were ever on Fear Factor and bees were involved, I'd forsake the million, or whatever the prize was. I understand their importance, but I despise them nonetheless.

And my worst fear of all is sharks. Though I'd go hang gliding or jump out of a plane no problem, I won't go on a shark dive or surf or do many oceanic activities that might bring me into contact with them. I totally hate that about myself because I love adventure. With writing, I'm afraid of what's out there in the unknown, but I have no choice but to jump in the deadly ocean and watch out for sharks. I do hope to be published, and that's my first plunge into making it happen.

Once work is polished and ready for submission, some writers don’t know what to do next or how to go about finding representation. You’ve written the query, the synopsis. Now what? Don't send work directly to a publisher. Go find a literary agent, a good one. Searching for agents on the web can be overwhelming. In the scary murk, with hundreds of sharks out there hunting for young and naïve prey, how do you find the dolphins, who have the communication skills, connections and muscle to get work sold? To avoid being chum, here are some red flags to look out for so you can find the good guys.

◊ If an agent charges reading fees or anything upfront, RUN. Some agents in smaller agencies charge for supplies, but look for sold work, talk to represented authors, make sure there’s a cap on expenses and know exactly what you’ll have to pay, and really only choose an agent like that if you’ve exhausted all other options. Agents should get paid off commission, not nickel and dime writers into the poorhouse.

◊ If there’s no proven track record of sales and more sales, RUN. Look for works sold in the genres they say they represent. Good agents aren’t secretive about their sales. Who would hide published success? Really.

◊ If a website is too vague and sparse, no agents or bios in sight, authors with only first name and last initial giving glowing testimonials, RUN. Sometimes they’ll sweeten their appeal by offering a 10% commission instead of the customary 15. These “agents” are salivating for fresh, young meat. Really. Run.

◊ If an agent’s website is lacking clarity or full of errors, grammatical or otherwise, RUN.

◊ If an agent is not a member of the AAR, the Association of Authors' Representatives, PAUSE and do some more research before sending in or signing anything.

◊ If an agent is running ads to get business, WALK AWAY BRISKLY. Even if it’s a legitimate agent who’s starting up and wanting to get his name out into the world, opt for an experienced agent with contacts. New agents have no clue what publishers are buying or how to get in the door. This is your work we’re talking about. Would you let some inexperienced doctor operate on your child just because he ran a good ad campaign? Think not. Let some other writer be the Good Samaritan and business booster. Top agents don’t have to reel in writers. They’re swamped with submissions already.

◊ If an agent offers to represent you ONLY if you use such and such editing services first or their suggested rewriter, RUN. Kickback is in play.

◊ If an agent hasn’t sold works to the big houses, WALK AWAY BRISKLY. Your book might have the potential to be the next best seller, but who would know? With a smaller press, your spankin’ new, published book could die right out of the box. A good agent knows what type of publisher would be best for your work and has contacts all over the map to get the right deal done.

◊ If an agent works with subsidy or print on demand [POD] publishers, RUN. You could just as easily do that yourself if you wanted to go that rout. Why pay the extra fees?

Check out Writers Beware for already tagged sharks.

You can find a comprehensive list of agents with bios and contact info at these FREE sites: LitMatch and Agent Query. Advanced searches can pinpoint agents by name, genre, location—not only the U.S. btw. You can also organize and track submissions instead of having to set up a spreadsheet in Excel. There’s also a resource page listing agent blogs.
Look for agents who are seeking and selling what you write. Every agent has their own personal guidelines and tastes. Don’t do a blitz submission or even write a form query letter. It’s really impersonal, unprofessional and ineffective. Choose agents carefully and write individual query letters for each one.
Nothing to fear. With your eyes alert and your mind sharp, you can avoid being shark bait and find your way in the treacherous current. Now off you go. Nothing to fear? Maybe I will take a shark dive sometime. Haha. Doubt it. Not without Valium and an army of prayer warriors on their knees.

~Signing off and sending out cyber hugs.