TWILIGHT: From A Writing Standpoint

So, I’ve been putting off reading Twilight because I know it’s in First Person, and not the best demonstration of one. But I decided to throw caution to the wind and snatch it up to see what all the Edward Flair and tomato throwing’s about.

Well, it wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be, but it was far from excellent. My rating reflects a combo of reader fulfillment and applicability to novel writing.

MY RATING

It’s one of those books that has a nice concept but its potential far outweighs execution.

I consider every book I read to be a learning experience, whether for good or bad, and there are things that can be learned, even in a book like Twilight, which divides readers into passionate, bloodthirsty camps:

Loved It! Most Awesome Book Ever!!!!
Hated It! And Stephenie Meyer Should Be Shot And Left In A Ditch For Putting Such Crap On The Market!

Team Edward!
Team Jacob!

Great Love!
Unbelievable Love!

Edward IS AMAZING & BEAUTIFUL, Takes Such Good Care of Bella!
Edward Is A Freakin’ Stalker And A Control Freak, One Step Away From An Abusive Nutjob!

Millionth-time Reader! Aaaand Counting!!!
Never Ever Read It. Don’t Plan To. And I Hope Every Copy Burns So Those Poor Strangled Words Can Be Free.

Well, no matter which camp you’re in, here are the good and bad points about Twilight, as it applies to novel writing in general. (And I’ll be referring to Stephenie Meyer as SM for brevity’s sake.)

PROS

Unique adaptations. Well, SM gets laughed at about the sparkly skin of her vampires but so what. SM created her own version of vampire that worked for her story and rocked it. And her brand of vampire inspired writing possibilities, kickstarted a subgenre and pulled droves of readers, who never would've considered reading YA, to the genre. Her vampires can sparkle in sunlight rather than burn if she wants them to. They can be strong, insanely fast and beautiful, “vegetarian”, play baseball in thunderstorms. It’s her story, her characters. Who’s to say you have work within the confinements of myth. Creatures of lore are fictional, so I applaud her for stepping outside the box and being creative. I think that’s what makes Twilight feel fresh, because she took a concept and turned it upside down. Tolkin had his own elves. Stephenie can have her own vampires. Next.

Excellent use of sexual tension. Sexual tension is one of the most powerful hooks. Like in Star War—aside from the few who crushed on Luke—everyone could see the real sparks were between Han Solo and Princess Leia. Sexual tension carries more hooking power than action or constant bliss because it’s conflict, and conflict always wins. Of course, almost everyone loves to get into the thick of it, to reach that long-awaited kiss, but the teasing, the getting there is so much fun. In the end, that’s when tension can finally be put to rest and buried for all eternity.

In Twilight, Edward and Bella love each other but can’t get toooo close because Edward’s sexual desire is so closely aligned with his thirst for blood, and Bella’s blood is far too enticing. The sexual tension was so expertly drawn in fact, that if you use sexual tension, and your work is Urban Fantasy, or maybe even generic YA, it will be compared, there’s no way around it, because Twilight set the bar.

Evident story question. The story question of “will Bella end up with her star-crossed, oh-so dangerous, fang-bearing soulmate” carries strong and flows throughout the series. It is this question that keeps readers reading and pushes them on quickly to the remaining books. It makes the books seem as though a spell has been cast on them. There is no spell, just an evident story question readers care to see resolved. And in that way, I suppose, readers are charmed.

Every writer should strive to include a story question, that subconscious thing that plagues readers and urges them onward, even if you plunk in history, even if you take detours, even if you have countless subplots. If you have that question out there to grab and hang onto, readers will follow you wherever. I tried reading The Last Juror by John Grisham. I normally love his books, but this one has no story question or track at all really. It lost me about ten chapters in and I have no urge to revisit it. Every book should have a point, a mainline. If yours doesn’t, give it one.

Solid conflicts, both internal and external. Conflicts abound in Twilight, both internal and external. Bella has issues with self-esteem, and wonders why Edward can’t stand her when they’ve never met. Then they both struggle with their building emotions. There’s an underlining enmity between werewolves and vampires, that is really just hinted at in Twilight and comes into play in greater detail later. Rife also exists between vampire sects and that explodes as the story wraps up. She did great here. The more types of conflicts you can layer in, the stronger your story will be.

Fascinating secondary characters. Twilight has interesting secondary characters. And this almost makes me wish the story wasn’t in First person, because the perspective through Bella’s eyes is just too limited. I wish to know more about the others and don’t get that satisfaction. Jacob doesn’t have a major role in Twilight, but he’s interesting and there’s something there between him and Bella. Even this early on, you can see the potential for future conflict, which works as another hook. The groundwork has been laid. And Edward’s family is full of interesting characters, each with their own history and talents, that come to the forefront at different points in the story. Interesting secondary characters will make your work much more interesting.

CONS

Underdeveloped main characters. The main characters have little essence. Bella only seems to exist to be with Edward. She’s been nothing until she sees him. Characters need to feel more real and more well-rounded. So he’s beautiful, so she smells good. What else? Why are they drawn to one another? Why do they connect? My only view of Edward is through Bella, and she focuses so much on his outward appearance that I don’t think she sees his good qualities or bad. And she is so paper-thin, I find it implausible that in his 117 years on the planet he’s never found anyone more fascinating than this drippy, boring doormat with suicidal tendencies. It’s the author’s job to expose what’s beneath the surface so I and everyone else can totally “get” it.

I get that SM wanted young readers to feel like Bella could be any one of them, that there was nothing really special about her, that their love was “just because”, but all that hits me as lazy.

Super thin story for one so wordy. In 118,000 words, there’s not much meat here. The central characters don’t start hanging out until the middle of the book, so the beginning is sloooow build-up and fluff. Then they fall in love rapidly, no, they don’t even fall in love, they just are in love--automatically, just because. But they can’t “Be” together because he’s a vegetarian vampire--denying himself human blood--who might give into his primal urges in the heat of passion, and well, eat her, because she smells so stinkin’ luscious.

And she cannot live without Edward…Well, why not?…Because…But I wanna know why?…Just because she can’t, okay? He’s sooo beautiful, remember? He sparkles even…Oh, yeah. How could I have forgotten with SM telling me that ad nauseam…He’s her life. She’s nothing without him…True, very true.

Then, after pages of nothing much happening except for some close-call snuggle sessions and baseball during a thunderstorm, dum-dum-dum, evil carnivorous vampires rush in wanting to kill her and drink her blood because it smells better than anything they’ve ever sniffed. A fight ensues. But you don’t see it. Someone wins. The end. I want the events to change Edward and Bella in some way, I want more purpose, I want more arc, I want them to realize their love has been superficial and to seek something real and better and stronger.

A bland and rambling First Person narrator. Bella just had no personality or strong voice. I’ve never had to plod through such doldrums, that didn’t have a bent towards economics, with greater effort in my life. If a character is going to relay a story with his or her ONE perspective, I want that character to be engaging, interesting and fully-developed, not a fill-in-the-blank Mary Sue. If you use First Person, do it well. Many readers connected with Bella’s voice, were able to hop right into the story, so I know I’m in the minority, but with a little bit more oomph, the story could’ve been so much more. Fiction writers should aim for more than MAD-lib, fill-in-the-blank sketches of voice, character and plot. Just saying.

Gutless actions. Not by the characters, no, no, by the author. SM shrinks from grit here, hence Bella’s blackout at the highest point in the book. Then we hear about what happened when Bella wakes up in the hospital. What? No. As writers, we need to be willing and daring enough to write scenes that make us uncomfortable sometimes. Why else would SM pull us away from a cool battle, the BEST part of the book--Hello!!!--if not for fear or discomfort in showing violence or utter laziness, I don’t know. Maybe she intended on getting back to it later, and said, “Oh, what the cawing crow! Blackout. Perfect. Done.” Violence can still be tasteful, but the scene needs to be written. Not writing it, and instead telling us what happened after the fact, totally robs readers. This takes me to my next point…

A false climax. The true climax in any given-story is not necessarily action-packed, although it can be, it’s rather the point of revelation. It’s where the most layers peel away, where the obstacles break down, where lovers decide to be together, where the sleuth discovers the killer, where the protagonist and antagonist face off, where forces collide, where a big choice must be made, where everything that's been learned can finally be put into action. But instead, we get a very telly, after-the-fact, word-of-mouth version of what happened in a climax that should have been SHOWN. The movie shows the scene. Why? Because it’s important and interesting. How dull would it have been if Edward had shown up at the hospital and told Bella what happened? Well, that’s what happened in the book! Edward is not the protagonist and that is what’s wrong with this behind-closed-doors fight. It should have been a joint effort, a true testament of their love, but we get nothing.

Which brings me to the next point…

Weak love. This is the main drive the book, right? Everyone talks about their love being so passionately akin to that of Romeo and Juliet. But as is, it is too fanciful and unbelievable for me, given the lack of chemistry between the two leads and reason for its existence. Just because an author says they love each other is not good enough. I want to know, why? I want to see it, understand it and feel it. Why these two? Their love should be as dense as good, well-rounded characters should be, and because these characters are closer to chimeras than people, their love is vapid and so much less intense than it actually could have been with proper construction all around.

Inadequate editing. Twilight is sloppy with many grammatical errors and first person glitches. And the dialogue tags with action after EVERY single spoken line are insanely annoying. Come on. I know a few errors are bound to slip through the cracks, it happens, but they are just too numerous here to not mention or care about when I’m hoping for quality on the market, especially in such a highly loved work. The work feels very rough. How could Twilight get past so many levels of professionals and remain in this blatant first-draft state? How was it that no agent, editor, suitcoats at the cherry wood table or copy editors cared to trim the meandering fat or fix the parts of Twilight that are such a hot mess. That is so baffling to me, I don’t even know what to say about it. I’ll leave it at that.

So those are the good and bad things about Twilight. Have you read it? Do you plan to? What are your thoughts?

~ Signing off and sending out cyber hugs.