Avoid Flooding in Your Work

Last Saturday, I woke up to the sound of dripping water, no, pouring water, splashing, definitely making something very, very wet in my basement. It was raining, so I thought water was coming in through the windows. Oh no. That would have been good news. The water heater decided to expunge its contents onto the floor, leaving me with a two-inch pond to clean up. Not fun! But not that bad either. Many people have lost their entire homes and even loved ones and pets in real floods, so, in perspective, 40 gallons of water or there-abouts is really not that tear-worthy. Just a pain in the butt.

Now, exactly a week later, after my husband tried to keep the old one hanging on but lost in the fight, we have a new tank. Fourteen bucks to rent one from the gas company a month is totally doable.

When you're writing long fiction, sometimes things can flood your work and create gloppy bogs. Here is a list of things to avoid, especially if you're a unpublished newbie.

♦ The prologue that explains things in order for readers to understand the story. A prologue, if there is one, should just hint at something weird, entice, or maybe it can be a short view into a time outside of your main story. Melissa Marr in Wicked Lovely has a great one and Frank Perritti in The Visitation. They're short, somewhat weird, they set the tone and they pull readers in. You're prologue should do this. Hint. Foreshadow. Parallel. Show something vitally important. Don't info dump.

♦ The exposition landslide. You don't have to give buckets of backstory and information at the onset. Just start your story where your story starts, which does not necessarily have to be an action sequence, but it does need to be close to the dawning of your story question. Your story question is what hooks readers. Will she find escape from her abusive, alien ex-husband? Will they catch this psycho killer who is expressing Beatles tunes with dead bodies and creative crime scenes? Find your question and make it obvious what your story's about in chapter one. Give readers something to care about and latch on to.

♦ Strange punctuation and hacked words to denote dialect. In bits and pieces or for minor characters, it's okay, but throughout a novel, it can be very tiresome for the reader. Instead, try and use terms and phrases common to the area of origin.

♦ Too much telling. The demand to show not tell is drilled into writers' heads because it's so important to vivid, engaging storytelling. So when you can, show.

♦ Too many adverbs. They have their place, but often times you can find a strong verb to say what a verb-adverb combo does. So look around, check the thesaurus, stretch.

♦ Purple prose. Flowery, poetic writing, though it sounds nice, often draws more attention to the author. Purple prose can come out as excessive description and sweeping love scenes that bring amusement parks rides and sparkling clouds into sexual responses. You can certainly be lyrical, you can use a FEW precious violets, but avoid waves and waves of heather. It can be cool, if you use it with intent to paint contrast, a lush landscape now tainted by the presence of a dark character. But purple for the sake of drowning readers in lovely words? No. Nix that junk post haste.

♦ Draggy dialogue. The draggiest dialogue is not dialogue at all. It's conversation that has no business being in the story. If it doesn't advance the plot, add more depth to the story or reveal character, either rewrite it so it's more vital or get rid of it. And don't allow characters to unnaturally discuss things for the benefit of the reader. Some Sci-fi writers do this so we understand the society, rules or time and place. Show how things work and are instead.

♦ Dull verbs. Need I say more? Punchy verbs are important for making your voice stand out, so look for some gems.

Avoid those book flooders and make your work shine. You can do it.

~ Signing off and sending out cyber hugs.

Build Characters with Depth

Ok. You began with a good sketch of your protagonist for your plot-driven novel. As you wrote your book, he practically came alive for you and veered your story in ways you never intended, making your work exceptionally better than you'd planned, but still, something is off. Test readers, or worse, agents, are saying they loved your twists, the suspense was riveting, but your main guy was one-dimensional…not fleshed out…not believable. Hmmm? Where did you go wrong?

I've read books that were packed with conflict but not so engaging. These are generally works readers on Amazon will say were strong in plot but weak in characterization. In creative writing class, after you've made your character sketch, this is how we’re told to write. Let every scene end with some kind of disaster, where a goal is not fully met, an answer is not found, a hero turns towards certain peril. The problem with having every scene be about achieving a goal or fighting through conflict is it can leave your work feeling stark…and it probably is. All scenes need to be related to the story, they need to be pertinent, but they don’t ALL have to be about having a goal or showing a conflict. Sometimes it’s important to show a piece of a puzzle or a hunter getting closer to his prey or a phone conversation after another nightmarish date or a police officer tucking her daughter into bed at night. Don’t get so wrapped up in structure that your work can't breath and be told in its own unique way.

Unless your audience is middle-grade boys who care more about blood, battle and boogers, (Good title!), don’t cheat readers. You should aim for both solid plotting and intriguing characters. Delve deeper and find out who your characters are, who they truly are, from top to bottom, inside out and then present that to readers.

With my novel, Kings & Queens, readers are always asking me what’s happening with my characters or how they’re doing as though they’re real people. When I tell those inquiring minds I’m writing a sequel, they say they can’t wait to pick up with their lives again. What lives? They’re not alive, people! But they almost feel like they are, even to me, like they’re living off in Fantasia or a parallel universe. That’s what you want. Readers to feel like they’ve met real people and to feel a little bit sad and miss them when the ride is over.

Here are some things you can do to ensure your main characters pop off the page.

Humanize: No character, friend or foe, is all good or all bad. Characters needs various shades and facets to stand out and be believable and identifiable to readers. Your villains need to have a dash of something good, even if it's just concern for the environment, or their motivations need to be clear, and your heroes or heroines need to have flaws and weaknesses. Perfect characters are bores on the page.

Layer: Make sure you’ve peppered your narrative with your main character’s tastes, interests, contradictions, quirks, props (lucky sneakers, glasses bent just right so they don't appear crooked on his slightly uneven ears), ghosts from the past, secrets, connections to other people who never grace the pages of your book like grandmas and old lovers. Characters need to feel like real people, who have lived their lives up until the moment you started to pen their circumstances. Layering will give your characters greater depth and dimension. However, your work should NOT be so saturated that it creates drag. Attempt to show much of this or spill it out through dialogue and action. Balance is key. If a point doesn’t belong or is too obtrusive, get rid of it.

Texturize: Don’t forget to tickle the senses beyond what’s seen and heard. By showing how your character responds to chilly mist, to the wall of scorching humidity when he steps out of his hotel in Shanghai, to the salty anchovies on his boss’s pizza, to the peppery chocolate scent emanating from the kitchen where her mom is baking another batch of experimental brownies, you can add texture to both your scene and character at the same time.

Shift: Let your heroine take a detour from her mapped out sketch and break type. When pressure is applied or danger bursts in or a grim diagnosis is given, real people deal and cope in different ways. They do stupid things, make mistakes, crumble, take wrong turns, cry, turn to God, say things they later regret, backpedal, contemplate suicide. So in fiction, your characters can do this. Shake things up and surprise readers. Just remember, every major action a character takes in fiction should stem from some sort of stimulus. As long as you make your variation believable and make it seem like an appropriate response or action by your MC, readers will buy it. If your heroine becomes too wimpy or stalls too long, readers will stop caring. No one likes a wimp or a loser. Keep the story moving. Kick your MC in the butt.

Show: Are you doing too much telling? Look for places you may have been able to show what you told. Readers will become more drawn into your work if they can experience what the character does. Showing helps to transport readers into your fictional world and identify with your hero. You can reveal so much character through speech and action.

Push: Do your characters have goals? All point of view characters need to want something in order for readers to care: revenge, love, justice, one day of tranquility, an Ivy League education. Up the stakes and the opposition. Make your MC work harder to attain his goals. Show the struggle, sweat, tears, determination, disappointment, passion. Overcoming seemingly insurmountable odds makes victory all the sweeter. Don't hold back or be afraid to stack up the obstacles. That creates tension and suspense, which makes for an all around stronger work.

Expose: Get into your character's mind and explore their desires and motivations. The more fully you relay this information to readers, the more readers will care about the outcome and connect. Sometimes characters live behind a facade or they vary their persona based on the company they're in. They act prim and proper with coworkers, cut loose with friends, or they say one thing and think another. Look at The Good Son. The parents are oblivious to their son's evil bent, but little by little he exposes it to his cousin. Allow your characters to reveal their innermost selves.

Build those memorable characters. You can do it. Give your babies every chance to not only reel in readers but leave a lasting impression.

~ Signing off and sending out cyber hugs.

Collective Inspiration ~ Thank You All

So, I've been blogging for almost a year, and in that time, many people have found my blog through various search engine terms. My new blog friend, Sandy, pieced together a brilliant poem using word-for-word search lines that have ushered people to her blog. You can read that bit of fabulousness here. Most of my terms involve prose, artistic voice and stuff like that, or my highest "weird true stories" which currently tallies 37 hits, and I didn't get any gems as precious as hers, but I was inspired to see if I could find something at least kinda sorta sparkly in my own heap.

Everyone who faithfully reads my blog knows I love challenges and have a hard time keeping my pen quiet and still. I was able to make sense of madness and piece together my own poem, a poem that fits my blog's theme and doesn't entirely suck. These are actual search terms. No doctoring involved. From trash to treasure, here it is. I call it Creative Burst:

listening ears
find a symphonic zone
while running
falling in love
crying on a pillow

in the dark of night
during wild sex
in fits of mania
from yesterday
beyond twilight

be weird and crazy
stir curiosity
stretch for greatness
be passionate
find artistic voice

you superstar
queen of hearts
sex goddess
homeless man
child born with pen

to be or not to be,
that is the question
find the story
the untold story
poetic license

deep within
springing out
like glorious angels
like soul's fire
in a creative burst

Thanks for all your help, guys and dolls. I never could have created this poem without all the fine people who have paid a visit to my blog. Sometimes art can be found in the strangest places. Thanks for the tip, Sandy. See if you can create your own.

~ Signing off and sending out cyber hugs

Finding Voice: Your Ultimate Superpower

Okay. I’m finally going to share a secret with the world, something I’ve never actually told a soul. Ready?

I have...a super power.

No really. It's true. So stop laughing or doing that head bobbing thing with one corner of your lips pinched, as though I'm fruity and out of my mind. Noooo, I can’t fly—though that would totally rock—I can’t see dead people or scale tall buildings, and worst of all, I can’t “Wonder Twin Powers. ACTIVATE!!!” with anyone, but what I CAN do, is remember people to a freakish degree. I never forget people. I call it Social Photographic Memory, though that’s not quite what it is. I remember people I meet, but beyond that, I can remember events, blocks of conversations and things people tell me about themselves, especially if they’re unique. It’s all about people. I can’t find my misplaced debit card, historical junk in my brain or any mathematical solutions beyond Pre-Algebra. I CAN call up my Bio notes from college, but that’s only because I turned Dr. Spohn’s notes into song lyrics. Such things, most of which don’t benefit me at all to know, I will remember until the End of Days or unless Alzheimer’s or amnesia take my mind.
One reason I have vivid recall is my piqued senses intertwine with images, people, objects and events, turning them into lasting memories, infusing them into my brain. I remember not just things from when I was five, I remember BEING five. And not just events, but emotions I felt, smells in the room, tastes, textures, etc.
For instance, they're gone now, but my grandfather’s name was James and my grandmother referred to him as Jimmer. She was the ONLY one who ever called him that. And she always did. Never James or Jim, just Jimmer. I wasn’t even two, and I remember the first time I called him Grandpa Jimmer. Everyone in the kitchen, my aunt, my uncles, my parents, cracked up, bowling over and everything. I remember this wonderful feeling, a sense of pride and accomplishment, for making people laugh.

Another reason why I have Social Photographic Memory—and this is my secret part—is because every person I come across gives me a…hmm…a sensory impression I’ll call it, that is unique to them. In the split second I see someone, and every time, I detect this texture in a person’s soul that triggers an instant yet momentary emotional response. Some are dull, others vibrant. It can be linked to personality, interests, what a person's going through at the time I first see or meet them or how they’ll make me feel in the future.

Whenever my husband walks into the room, I get a peace that's so soft, like a dryer-fresh towel, all smelling nice and feeling warm. My best friend from college = a teddy-bear warmth. Another friend = a zippy jolt. She loves to travel and is always on the go.

Some guy who's guarded can be reminiscent of a stone wall or an onion, and even after I demolish the blockade or peel all the layers, he'll forever and always give me that same evanescent impression. I can instantly know some strange lady loves cats even if she’s not wearing a shirt proclaiming it because her impression is tied up with cats. Totally creepy I know—I get freaked out all the time when I gather enough info for the impression to make sense—but I'm hoping I can someday lend my super power to a character when that perfect plot match enters my brain. I've never heard of anyone else, fictional or not, possessing my offbeat...whatever-it-is...oh, super power, right.

You want your writing to be as distinctive as the sensory impressions people give me. It needs to stand out in a crowd, be unforgettable and expose the deepest parts of your soul. And this beautiful power you possess to make your mark is called voice. Writing voice is as individualized as, well, voice. Every person has their own way of speaking. Even identical twins have differences, revealing their inner selves through attitude, emotion, diction, pacing, tone, word choice.

When you write, your basic speaking voice should be emerging and spilling onto the pages, not Hemingway’s or John Grisham’s or your mom’s. Not that you should write exactly as you think or talk because you could be narrating from an evil POV or a sarcastic or unreliable one, or maybe you curse more than a work can stand. But your prose should contain your uniqueness and also be appropriate for your audience. Tell your story, poem or novel in the way only you can tell it. Voice is what I'm using to write this blog. It exposes so much about me, even if I never mentioned one personal thing. That's why writing on the whole feels so soul-baring. It is. It was pretty scary to hand my work over and have people read and critique it, but I took the bold step and just did it so I could improve.

Here are some things you can do to make sure your voice comes through in your writing.

∞ Relax and just write. Don’t concentrate too hard because it will stifle your voice. Just be free and go.

∞ Broaden your vocabulary. Learning new words all the time will give you a bigger reserve to draw from so your voice doesn’t become stale, so you’re not always falling back on the same crutch words and phrases.

∞ Know the basic writing pitfalls to avoid like misplaced modifiers, too many adverbs, adjectives, etc., so those glitches don’t muck up your prose.

∞ Break out of the clutches of cliché and search inside for some originality and zest.

∞ If grammar’s a weak point for you, get Elements of Style or a book like it to have handy when you hit a bump or have a question.

∞ Every voice has rhythm. Find your ebb and flow and boogie with it.

∞ Have confidence. Trust in your ability to tell the story.

∞ If your voice is eluding you or not sounding quite like the real you, shut out all outside influences so they don’t become infused in your work.

∞ Experiment with different voices, like an array of hats. Obviously from my blog, you can tell I look for the humor that’s all around me and don’t take certain things too seriously. But, I do take my writing seriously. And I use different voices for different mediums and audiences.

∞ Do writing exercises like free writing, random word stories or poems or write first thing in the morning. Work specifically at discovering voice.

∞ Use your emotion.

∞ Write with authenticity and integrity. Be true to yourself. Don't mimic.

∞ Don’t puff up your work or make it loftier than it should be.

∞ Say aloud what you want to write before putting it down and see if it sounds like your true self. You can use a tape recorder for assistance. Or write it first and then read it aloud. Check for continuity and ask yourself if it sounds like you.

∞ Think positively. Published or not, consider yourself a true writer, seizing your passion, honing your craft, living your dream.

Voice can’t be enhanced, borrowed, copied or sharpened; it must be found. It is your ultimate super power, your best tool to reel readers in and turn them into fans. Make a lasting impression, and you can only do that when you tap into that inner you and reveal that to readers. When you find your true voice, your writing will sparkle and be a wonderful reflection of you. Then you'll be able to turn your voice into a brand. You can do it. Let the quest begin.

[Oh. And keep my secret on the down low. Thanks. I don't want the masses hounding me to find out what impressions I get. Sometimes words can't adequately describe anyway.]
~Signing off and sending out cyber hugs.

Discovering Art in Randomness

When are you most creative? First thing in the morning? After an espresso shot, a run or a shower? In the dead of night? I find inspiration bites me at sporadic times. I’ll have a dream so lively and strange, that I wake up with an urgent need to pen it. Or I’ll be up late, stuck in the sillies and an idea will come to me.

The concept for Sapphire Reign, the book I’m working on now, came to me from a dream, two actually, now spliced together, as did its prequel, Kings & Queens, so I guess that says something about dreams for me. Dreams are beyond our conscious imagination so that’s where interesting plots are born, characters introduce themselves, and circumstances aren’t hemmed in by time or space or practicality or realism. One night you’re attempting to evade shark jaws while surfing and the next, you’re under a purple sky in a land where everyone, man and beast, gets along until you arrive and destroy the balance, and as you strive to make things right, you only make them worse.

One night at 2 AM, I was writing a forum post and jotting down songs singers should avoid on American Idol. Some are so owned, they should never grace the stage again, some were the kiss of death, some totally bit—TOTALLY—, and some are just not, um, Idol material. In my post, which was making me crack up, a story emerged, so I arranged the song titles into a lose poem. Here’s that 2 AM creative burst:

~ Songs to Avoid on American Idol ~

Hello
Imagine
Yesterday
I Am I Said
Dust in the Wind
Welcome to My Life
The Long and Winding Road

I Feel So
Like a Virgin
Cherry Pie
I'm Too Sexy
Born to be Wild
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
(You Gotta ) Fight For Your Right (to Party)
It's My Life

I Drove All Night
I Want Your Sex
Eight Days a Week
Time After Time
Any Way You Want It
All I Want Is You
Faithfully

I'm On Fire
Burning Love
Outta My Head
Hungry Like the Wolf
Crazy for You
My Immortal
Desire

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
Livin La Vida Loca
It's All Wrong, But It's All Right
Is This Love
Love Bites
Love Is A Battlefield
Fallin'
Going Under
Bring Me to Life

Devil Inside
Highway to Hell
Some Like It Hot
Inside the Fire
I Have Nothing
Total Eclipse of the Heart
Smashed Into Pieces
Helplessly Hoping

I Wanna Know What Love Is
Wake Me Up Before You Go Go
How Do I Live
My Life
Good Enough
Empty Me
Save a Prayer
Pour Some Sugar on Me

A Change is Gonna Come
Karma Chameleon
Today
Macarena
Shake Your Love
Shout to the Lord
Dare You to Move

I Believe
I'm a Believer
Travelin' Thru
The Greatest Love of All
Jesus Christ Superstar
A Perfect Love
Love of a Lifetime
Stairway to Heaven

Tomorrow
I'll Fly Away
High Enough
Inside Your Heaven
To Be With You
Forever
Always
Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

This is just a crazy list of song titles, but it tells a story, a journey about life. There’s a character here who’s searching for true love and finds it in an unexpected place.

During a moment when you’re most likely to be creative or even a moment when you're totally not, like exhausted maybe or distraught, pick a topic and brainstorm. Go with it, write whatever crazy thing comes to your mind. You could end up with a poem, a song, a short story sketch, a new plot concept for a novel or character who wants his story told. Never assume your random thoughts are just rubbish. Often times, when you clear away the haze and dust and look at something in a different way, you’ll discover your junk is actually precious art. Inspiration is waiting in the oddest places and during the most unthinkable times, so go find it.

~ Signing off and sending out cyber hugs.

Inspiration is Paging You

I generally find inspiration in the weirdest things. This morning as I lingered in bed in a sleepy daze, after a short nap because my husband's off today and I'd gotten up at 6 AM—early for me—and wanted a few more winks, I tuned in to the various sounds of morning. My ceiling fan whirling around with its own drum beat, birds praising God, a neighbor mowing his lawn, cars driving by every now and again, my daughter laughing. Then I heard this unexpected intercom-type noise, someone being paged on a walkie-talkie maybe, and BAM.

It doesn't seem like much at all. Just a voice. Just a call. Something tiny and insignificant really. But no, I didn't see it that way, and neither did my new character who's just been handed a baton she never asked for and can't for her life get rid of. The burly doctor who held it before her committed suicide. What on earth will she do when people start dying at her hand? She can't run. She tries. She can't avoid people. She tries that too. She can't escape her destiny. Nor can she forsake The List.

I don't know where I'll go with it yet. It's inspiration that waits to be fleshed out. I have many such ideas for stories running through my head. Some leaning more adult, some more YA. This feels YA to me, and is aching to be in First Person--which I've never wielded before--but I need to wait to see where KINGS & QUEENS is positioned first so I don't waste my time writing for the wrong peeps. I write for readers who love suspense stories, not really a particular age group, but in the end, it's all about shelving and my main characters need to fit in a certain age bracket. Suspense with extra toppings, especially some weird ones, will be my niche for a while. Whether that's YA or adult will be up to the big guys. My future projects wait for the almighty arrow.

Either way, I'll write the same. Always building in complexity and layers in the plot points and prose, always promising multifaceted, engaging characters worth reading about, always sharing something a little bit weird.

Where do you find your inspiration? I found mine this morning in a wake-up call. It can be found in a myth, a news article, a secret, a dream, a photo or a new development. Take up your pen. Go find inspiration. It's paging you.

~ Signing off and sending out cyber hugs.

BE Verbs Be Gone

When I'm penning a first draft, I often don't care about verbs. Since I just wanna get my ideas down, BE verbs tend to fall into the mix. But for me, they stand as mere placeholders.

BE verbs certainly seem innocent enough. Am, is, are, was, were, been, being and be are efficient, unobtrusive, neat and tiny. They don't create snags. No one has to look them up in a dictionary. They are standards in the English language, but those little buggers possess dangerous power.

They proclaim laziness, an abundance of weak and/or passive sentences, as well as amateur status. But mostly, they lack sparkle and smother your narrative voice. I know many published writers use BE verbs, and often, but if they'd stretch a little, then narration, exposition and First Person drones with lackluster personalities would come alive in new and unexpected ways. Because I am so conscious of them, I find them very distracting in published novels, especially was and were, especially when used 90% of the time. You shouldn't cave to that bad habit just because others get away with it. Choose to take pride in your craft and make your sentences shine.

It's amazing what a bit of tweaking can do for your voice. You want your work to possess freshness and zing, not banality. So when you're at the editing stage, work on nixing as many BE verbs as you can. I don't trim them all out. I usually let about 20% remain, where they work/flow/fit well. Works without any can feel too heavy and clunky, but go for the much prettier cousins when you can. Use BE verbs where it would cause a trip-up if you didn't, kind of like when you twist your sentences all around to avoid ending with a preposition and end up transporting your readers back to the 1800's with your very perfect grammar. If it sounds more natural and easier to read with a BE verb—or a sentence-ending preposition—then choose readability over greatness. You want your story to be told in the clearest, best possible way.

Here are some examples of sentences from which I extracted wases:

He was curious to know what they’d do if real guns aligned with their chests, heads and dicks.

He smoldered with curiosity to know what they’d do if real guns aligned with their chests, heads and dicks. ("smoldered with curiosity" reflects the POV character's darker state of mind. "was" dies on the page)

* * *

Getting to gloat to the Wasps’ athletic director about today’s victory was a definite managerial perk.

Getting to gloat to the Wasps’ athletic director about today’s victory thrilled as a definite managerial perk. ("thrilled" brings in some emotion and characterization)

* * *

Small American flags and seasonal banners, suspended for the St. Patty’s Day Parade, were on utility poles.

Small American flags and seasonal banners, suspended for the St. Patty’s Day Parade, still garnished utility poles. ("still garnished" sets up my next sentence which explains how long those embellishments stay up.)

* * *

Not all words were clear, but what she did gather sent tremors down her spine.

Not all words came out clear, but what she did gather sent tremors down her spine. (not too much different, but "came out" reflects reception and stimulus now.)

* * *

Do you see how using stronger, punchier verbs, infuses the prose with some pizazz and life? The content is the same, but they sound better, read better and make the sentences overall more interesting.

Sometimes Be verbs ARE the perfect verbs for a sentence. Weigh each one you come across. If stretching gives you nothing better, let it stand. Here are some wases I kept because they held strength as they were and conveyed exactly what I wanted:

The seventeen-year-old shuddered at the skeletal hand, pointing. Someone was going to die, but who would even believe her?

* * *

It was the touching, her slender hand slipping willingly into his large mitt, caressing it with waving fingers, that caught Crystal's eye and triggered an eruption of sneezes.

* * *

In the same vein, 90% of the time, the combos of There was/were, That was/were are unneeded. Just write in what's there. (There was a biting chill in the air that I could feel in my bones. v. The biting chill in the air slithered into my bones. Go for straightforward, active sentences, which are always more engaging.) You can use such a combo for effect on occasion, if you want to create a sense of eeriness for instance, but keeping a sentence passive when it could be active is just poor writing.)
Regarding BE verbs, with a little mental acrobatics, you can often come up with a much stronger way to say the same thing. Stretch yourself. Making the extra effort will enhance your prose enormously. Go ahead and use BE verbs as placeholders, but consider many of them to BE on the chopping block, and when the time comes, hack them off without mercy.

~ Signing off and sending out cyber hugs.

Novels Aren't Like Coffee, Pools & Cigarettes

One of the best ways to engage your readers is to make your POV characters identifiable, feared or intriguing. And you do that by making motivations and desires clear, including various types of sensory impressions and giving your characters multiple facets like quirky interests or occupations, different proclivities or issues that can affect how he or she reacts like phobias, skeletons buried deep in the closet, job tension or fatigue from insomnia. Okay. Check. You've done that. Good.

After all this great character building, does your work contain some unwanted distance? Are critters saying your work is pretty good but not engaging? Does your prose feel a bit clumsy? Filtering may be the cause.
Filtering is good for coffee, pools and cigarettes, but not novels. Yet it's something writers do too frequently because they don't know they shouldn't. But it's something you should watch for and avoid in your work. When you use combos like she saw, she felt, she heard etc., instead of just naming the stimulus, and sometimes the reaction, it zaps a reader's connection with the scene character. Saying what’s observed or detected with a filter creates distance and makes readers feel like they’ve been ushered outside the POV just a little bit instead of right there with it. Plus, it mucks up work with superfluous words.

Whether you’re using First, Subjective Third or Omniscience, filtering should be kept at a minimum. Here are some examples that show the difference:

She smelled burgers and bacon from Yesterday’s, which incited hunger pangs. (filtered)
The aroma of burgers and bacon from Yesterday’s incited hunger pangs. (direct)

She noticed the dogwood blossoms that settled on his black Corvette sail off and flutter to the pavement. (filtered)

Dogwood blossoms that settled on his black Corvette sailed off and fluttered to the pavement. (direct)

When she heard a window pane shatter and clink on the wood floor like crystal rainfall, she scampered for a place to hide. (filtered)

When a window pane shattered and clinked on the wood floor like crystal rainfall, she scampered for a place to hide. (direct)

To find the filtering in your work, look for noun-verb combinations like: she felt, she knew, she saw, she smelled, she heard, she tasted, etc. and could-forms like: she could feel, she could sense, etc. and rewrite them so they're non-filtered.

In some instances, it’s effective to use a filter like this:

By the time she caught wind of his black cherry-leather cologne, her neck was in the stranglehold of a muscular arm.

She heard somewhere that filters can kill an otherwise good novel.
You can also use a filter to help set up POV. In Omniscience, filters tend to be used more often, but once POV is established, they can be omitted. If your chosen narrator remains at a distance from all POV characters, not quite as far-removed as Objective/Dramatic nor as close as Subjective, then filtering can be used to maintain this distance throughout.

Filtering is a beginner's mistake so it comes off as amateurish and that's not the kind of impression you want to make. Rock on. Write on. Be direct.

~ Signing off and sending out cyber hugs.

Presenting Your Best Stuff

If you've completed your first manuscript, congratulations to you on your accomplishment. You rock! Although you may be tempted to find an agent pronto, don't do this. Some writers are so anxious to find representation when, or even before, they type THE END, that they send out queries before the work is truly finished. Definitely don't do this. A blog post on Authonomy from a published author with multiple works on bookstore shelves recommended you do this. That is grossly bad advice. Bad. Don't listen to her or your inner impatient beast. Wait. You need to edit your work first, many times over before you do anything with it.

In the competitive world of publishing, especially during this economic crunch where less books will roll out in ink, you want to present your best stuff, not your first draft, not your half-written draft. And because you can't be objective about your own work, you will need to find some reviewers who can give you deep critiques, not just looking for grammatical booboos but also for solid beginnings to each chapter, hooky endings, a good amount of conflict, inconsistencies, plot holes, overused crutch words or turns of phrase, pertinent dialogue, good flow and rhythm, etc. Your editing phase should not be just an effort to find your missing commas, it should be about examining the whole structure and individual parts, then polishing your work and bringing it to a plane of excellence so that it can stand out like a glorious, cut jewel in a land full of rocks.

The biggest problem with rushing out of the gate too fast, is if you query agents with sub-par work, polishing as you go, and garner enough rejections to wallpaper your bathroom, then you will have no one to query but the dregs in the bottom of your barrel when your work is pristine. Once you query an agent with a particular work and get a NO, that's it; you can score him or her off you list. Even worse, if you've been rejected, some agencies don't even like you to query other agents in their employ, so not only have you missed out on one agent but potentially many.

I know one overly eager writer who has queried many agents but is still tweaking her first chapters, and by tweaking I mean writing completely different scenes, and trying to adapt her book to YA. I have no clue why anyone would query when they haven't even deemed their work done but she has. One of her problems was she had too many reviewers commenting on her work and she got frazzled by the conflicting advice.

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With critique, you must take everything with a grain of salt. If many people are saying the same thing, it's time to listen and consider a change. But if one person is saying this and another saying that, go with your gut, go with what works best for the story and trust in your vision.

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So, this writer, who has a wicked fab concept and a stellar writing ability to weave good characters with intriguing complexity BUT holds a slightly frayed piece at present, has burned bridges to success. Who will she query when her book finally extends beyond being potentially good to just plain good? Anyone? Anyone? Crickets are chirping.

Don't make that mistake. Make sure your work is complete, good, polished and gripping. Don't take another step until it is. Just don't.

~ Signing off and sending out cyber hugs.

Shocked by the King

Since I've been running along at a good clip on penning my sequel and editing Kings & Queens, I've resurged my leisurely book reading. Last Monday I checked out five novels and I've already read three: Wicked Lovely, The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon and The Devil's Labyrinth. I read all of those books with the eye of a critter rather than a random reader. Why? Because I can learn from things that are done well and things that fall short. All of them were pretty well-written. I especially wanted to read The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon by Stephen King because it featured a young girl who got lost in the woods and I wanted to read a book on a realistic circumstance to see how he ratcheted up suspense in that case. Plus, I knew it would have some tidbits about the Red Sox, and since I'm a Sox fan, double whoot!

It was a good book overall, but if I'm being honest, the first third of it ran off kind of rather clumsy and rough. It seemed as though a new student had written it rather than the King of Terror. I even said so to my husband while I was reading it. "I can't believe Stephen king wrote this. It doesn't sound like him." Each chapter was marked with a different inning, which was cool. The first chapter opens by telling readers the girl is already lost and then feeds us all sorts of backstory about the character's life and circumstances. This chapter seemed like it was more like brainstorming notes for character and premise building rather than an actual chapter. If he had just let the story unfold in real time instead of telling she was lost, then jumping back and giving a landslide of backstory right there, it would have been a much stronger beginning. It also needed to be gleaned and cleaned up, like Varitek's misspelled name.

I've read a few works written by him, and he seems to prefer omniscience. That's fine, but sometimes his jumps to a different perspective can be jarring rather than smooth and in this book he had some of those bumps. Another thing that gives it an amateurish feel is the superfluous there wases and she felts throughout the work. Though short, this book could have used a bit of a trim and a stronger editing eye.

But following the rough start, he did a really good job of describing the young girl's plight as she tries to trudge through and find escape from the dense, bug-infested woods and bogs filled with terrors and grossness at every corner. She finds some comfort in listening to Red Sox games picked up by her walkman courtesy of WEEI and also by fantasizing of her crush and hero Tom "Flash" Gordon. King describes actions and the setting very well so eventually you get over the distance created by the omniscient voice and feel as though you're right there with her. And of course, he added in an ominous threat, which adds to the suspense.

If a newbie tried to shop work with an intro like this, it would never fly. Because he's the King, he can do pretty much anything he wants. Generally, he can tell a good tale. If you're expecting his regular brand of terror, you'll be disappointed. I wanted to read something with this particular shade of conflict, so it worked for me. It was a good book, just not stellar.

If you're a newbie writer, kick off your novel with good guts and hook readers in chapter 1. Write away and rock on!

~ Signing off and sending out cyber hugs.