Thursday, October 23, 2008

What's Not to Get???

From the age a person learns language, questions are quick to arise. Questions about life, nature, God, etc. And no matter how old or intelligent you are, there will always remain things that baffle the mind.

Although I love just about every sport with a passion, okay, a borderline obsession, you're sooo right, I’m not a fan of NASCAR. Not in any way. My extended family is huge into it, HUGE, crazy rednecks that they are. They go down to races every year, watch it whenever it’s on, stock up on paraphernalia and Wheaties, and have NASCAR keggers with heaps of buffalo wings and tortilla chips. The way they carry on, you’d think NASCAR drivers were Masters of the Universe or something. I would watch races if my husband were into it, but incidentally, I follow more sports than he does, so I thank the Lord, I don’t have to go there. I understand the burn of a diehard fan. I’m totally diehard for more sports than I care to mention, so I can identify with the craving to see events. But NASCAR on the radio? Really? NASCAR…on the radio. As if it’s not thrilling enough on TV, now you get the Audio Experience. I don’t get it. I mean I listen to contact sports on the radio, though football is a little hard for me to follow with so much going on, but I can’t imagine a race, be it runners, horses, kayaks or cars. On the radio. Can’t you find out the standings on the evening news? It’s not like a sport where a bad play or call matters. It’s a race. A race. On the radio.

I also don’t get why spandex and jelly shoes were ever popular in the 80's, considered wicked stylish even, and why they’re back with a vengeance, invading shopping malls everywhere. That's about the worst synthetic garb you can find. Put them together, and fashion police will be hunting you down, to ticket you for such a faux pas.


Why does every IHOP look like a dutch house? I mean, can't other nationalities be represented too? What's so important about the Dutch?

Why are the New Kids on the Block making a comeback? Sometimes you have to just let the dream die. Bye, Bye, Bye. Oops. Sorry. Wrong band. Really. Give it up.

Why do the rich and famous give their babies hideous names? As if they don't have enough attention already.

Why did Coca Cola think it was a good idea to change the formula for Coke in the first place?

Why on 9-11 was the U. S. military unable to protect the Pentagon, the most guarded air space in the world, after two planes had already struck the World Trade Centers and it was clear we were under attack? Wait. I think I know that one.

Why did David Lee Roth ever think he could make it as a soloist?

Why did Journey ever think they could make it without Steve Perry?

Why is Sid at Comcast's R&D stalling on the remote button issue on the cable box? It's a great idea! Lost remotes are a bane. A simple beep, beep, beep would save aggravation for all mankind.

Why do women think Johnny Depp is hot? Ick. Gabe Kapler now. There's some eye candy.

Why did the ruthless Little House writers hate Mary so? That poor thing. Four eyes. Ruptured appendix. Went blind as a teen. Baby died in a fire. It's difficult to find a character who's suffered more affliction. My heart still breaks for her.

Why are you still reading some freak's blog?

Why did Starbucks get rid of their coconut mocha frapp? Again! Even the brownie one is gone. It's a specialty drink nightmare!!!!

Why is my dad in yet another network marketing company?

Why can I not get a simple Marion Barber shirt?

Why are people on Facebook rude and unfriendly? Out of the thirty or so people I wrote on the fly, some strangers and others whom I knew in the distant, forgettable past, only one wrote me back. No more trying to make friends for me.

Why is Vanilla Coke so hard to find? Oh right. It's only in cans??? Those CC pushers get you hooked so you'll have to buy cans.

Why are pomegranate salesmen not getting MEGA bonuses? They're obviously working overtime. That stuff's in everything now.

Why is there no Red Lobster within 100 miles of me? I hate it. Those buttery herb rolls rock the house. They're the best ever and they've been snatched from me, so why do they keep torturing me with their commercials for all-you-can eat shrimp and crab legs.

Why is Sinbad not being used in more movies? He's soooo funny. Check out Houseguest if you haven't.

Why does my husband continue to root for his losing football team? I don't get it, but that's okay. I just get more in-season perks than he does.

And I don’t get perception, how you can hang a painting by a three-year-old in a museum and have passersby gush in awe when they assume it’s by an esteemed artist. Art is so subjective, but if we can’t tell the difference between preschool art and an impressionistic masterpiece, what does that say of skill or beauty? Doesn’t that dump them into a realm where excellence and technique don’t matter?

Writing is also a subjective art form because readers have different tastes. Some people only consider literary fiction to be worthy enough for their eyes, and perhaps classic literature, but definitely NOT that icky, annoying fiction with a firm plot, that actually moves somewhere rather than simply showing a slice of life or an arc in time.

I cannot imagine telling a story without plot. I need to have a point. Literary fiction, which tends to be more character-driven, has its place, but the most resonating works for me as a reader are those with good plots AND strong characters, which don’t sacrifice one over the other.

I cannot grasp how a writer can write a novel without some force jerking characters into danger or trouble or adventure or romance or galaxy treks. Why is there a belief and air that literary fiction is more sophisticated and excellent than genre or general fiction? A good story is a good story. Sacrificing plot for literary merit and recognition is just writing pretty words and plopping characters into a minimalistic storyline. Spending so much effort on form, strips you of free thought. Everything's all bound up in technique. Passion can get buried under all the glitz. Yes, you can certainly strive to create great literature, but also take time to cut loose. Whether you're a dancer, ice skater, painter or writer, you need to break free sometimes and find a style all your own beyond technique, to touch base with the thrill of the art.

That’s why three-year-olds can produce masterpieces. Such wall-worthy art is born out of pure joy and carefree gusto, and really, it is no less beautiful or sophisticated. Just ask the gushers at the museum or the moms who hang them on the fridge.

~ Signing off and sending out cyber hugs.

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